For over 15 years, I’ve worked with individuals and couples navigating some of the most painful experiences a relationship can endure — infidelity, sex addiction, porn addiction, and the betrayal trauma that follows. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor, I’ve seen firsthand how shame keeps people stuck — and how building shame resilience is the key that unlocks genuine healing.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned in my work: when someone causes betrayal, they are often overwhelmed by toxic shame — the feeling that they are fundamentally broken, not just that they did something harmful. That shame triggers defensive responses that block the one thing their partner desperately needs from them: empathy. They withdraw, they shut down, they lash out, or they spiral into self-attack. And every one of those responses abandons their partner at the exact moment their partner needs them most.

That’s why I co-founded Shame to Resilience with my colleague Eric Osterlind. Our 10-week workshop is built on the clinical research of Dr. Donald Nathanson’s Compass of Shame and Dr. Brené Brown’s shame resilience framework. We teach men to recognize their shame, understand their defensive patterns, and develop the emotional capacity to show up for their partner with genuine empathy and accountability. It’s not therapy — it’s a psychoeducational coaching program that gives you real information and real direction to make the changes you want.

I’m also the host of The Addicted Mind Podcast, which has reached millions of listeners exploring addiction, recovery, shame, and the path to healing. Each episode features expert interviews and personal stories that help people understand how addiction affects the mind and how recovery actually happens.