The STR Community · For Men Doing the Work
You were never meant to do the hardest work of your life alone.
A private, ongoing community of men who have caused betrayal, taken responsibility, and committed to becoming the partners their relationships need. No judgment. No performing. Just men walking the same road — together, and further than any of us could go alone.
It begins with the 10-week STR Workshop — the work. And it continues here, in the community — the walk you keep taking, alongside men who get it.
The part no one talks about
Most men carry this in complete isolation.
Here’s what I see in my work, again and again. A man stops the behavior. He gets into recovery. He’s trying — really trying — to show up differently. And still, the relationship is in crisis, and he has no one to talk to about any of it.
No other men who understand. No one who’s working toward the same things — accountability, honesty, becoming someone his partner can feel safe with again. Just shame, and silence, and the quiet belief that he’s the only one.
You’re not the only one. And you don’t have to keep doing this by yourself.
Why the Community Changes Everything
The workshop teaches you the skills. The community is where they take root.
Real change doesn’t happen in ten weeks. It happens over months and years of practice, stumbles, and showing back up. This is the place you keep doing that — surrounded by men who get it.
You stop feeling alone
A room full of men who’ve caused harm, faced it, and chose to do better. No explaining yourself from scratch. They already understand the weight you’re carrying.
Change actually sticks
Insight fades fast on your own. Here, the tools get reinforced week after week — so the new way of responding becomes who you are, not just something you learned once.
You get honest feedback
Men who will tell you the truth with care — when you’re slipping into defensiveness, self-pity, or old patterns — because they want to see you actually heal the harm.
What’s Inside
What being in the community gives you
Ongoing support, built for the long road of earned trust — not a quick fix.
Live group calls with Duane
Regular sessions to bring real situations, get coached through them, and learn from what other men are working through.
A private circle of committed men
A confidential space to check in, ask the hard questions, and be accountable between calls — not another noisy feed.
Ongoing skill-building
Continued teaching on shame, empathy, attunement, and repair — going deeper than the workshop could in ten weeks.
A growing library
Talks, exercises, and tools you can return to whenever you’re triggered, stuck, or need to remember what to do.
Accountability that holds
Men who notice when you go quiet, who check in, and who keep you honest about the work — gently, and for real.
Hope you can see
Men a few steps ahead of you, proving every week that the relationship really can heal — and that you can become the person it needs.
The Journey · Two Stages
The work happens in two stages — and you never walk it alone.
We keep this community strong by making sure everyone in it shares a foundation — the same language, the same tools, the same commitment. You build that in the workshop. Then you keep building, together, in the community.
Stage One · The Work
The STR Workshop
Ten weeks, live on Zoom, with Duane and a small group of men. You build the foundation — the neuroscience of shame, how to stop reacting from defensiveness, and how to truly attune to your partner’s pain. This is where the work begins.
Stage Two · The Walk
The STR Community
When you graduate, the door opens. You join the ongoing community and keep the work alive — practicing, stumbling, showing back up — alongside men walking the same road. This is the walk you keep taking, for as long as you want the support.
“You can do this. It takes time — but you can do this. And you don’t have to do it alone anymore. That’s the whole point of building this community.”
— Duane Osterlind, LMFT, CSAT-S
What It Costs
Begin the Work. Stay for the Walk.
One journey, two stages. You begin with the workshop — Stage One — and that’s what opens the door to everything after it.
Stage One · The Work
The STR Workshop
- Ten live weekly sessions with Duane
- The full Shame to Resilience curriculum
- A small cohort of men doing the same work
- Concrete tools and language for hard moments
- Unlocks access to the ongoing community
Cohorts of 15-21 seats · new group every 8 weeks
Stage Two · The Walk
The STR Community
- Live group coaching calls with Duane
- A private circle of committed men
- Ongoing teaching and skill-building
- The full resource library
- Accountability and support, for as long as you need it
Your invitation opens the week you complete the workshop.
An Honest Word
Who this community is for
This is for you if…
- You caused betrayal and you feel genuine remorse for the harm.
- You’re done making excuses — you want to take real responsibility.
- You’ve stopped the behavior, but the relationship is still hurting.
- You want to become someone your partner can feel safe with again.
- You’re ready to do hard, ongoing work — not look for a shortcut.
- You’re tired of carrying this completely alone.
This isn’t for you if…
- You’re looking for ways to manage or manipulate your partner.
- You want to skip accountability and get back to “normal.”
- You believe the betrayal wasn’t really your responsibility.
- You want a quick fix instead of a real change in how you show up.
We hold real compassion for the men we serve — and we never lose sight of the partner who was harmed. That’s what keeps this community honest.
Questions
What men ask before they begin
Why can’t I just join the community directly?
Because the community works precisely because everyone in it shares a foundation. The 10-week workshop gives you the same language, the same tools, and the same commitment as everyone else in the room. It means that when you walk in, you’re not starting from scratch — you’re continuing a journey alongside men who speak the same language you do.
I’ve already done therapy and recovery work. Do I still need this?
Many of the men here have done individual therapy, couples work, or a 12-step program — and they’ve stopped the behavior. What’s often still missing is this: how to respond to your partner’s pain without getting defensive, and a community of men working toward the same things. That’s exactly the gap this is built to fill.
Is this confidential?
Yes. This is a private community built on trust. What’s shared here stays here. That safety is what makes it possible for men to be honest — often for the first time — about what they’re really carrying.
How much time does it take?
The workshop is ten weeks, with one live session each week plus some practice in between. The community is ongoing and flexible — you show up to what you can, when you can. I’ll be honest with you: this is the hardest work of your life. And it’s worth every hour.
What if I’m not sure I’m “good enough” to do this?
Clicking “apply” after you’ve caused this kind of harm takes real courage. The shame can make you feel like you don’t deserve support, or that you’ll be judged. You won’t be. This is a room full of men who’ve been exactly where you are — and chose to do better anyway. You can too.
Your Next Step
The work is hard. You don’t have to carry it alone anymore.
It starts with the workshop — and on the other side of it is a community of men who understand, who’ll hold you accountable, and who’ll remind you that real change is possible. Because it is.
Stage One: the 10-week Workshop · Stage Two: the ongoing community